Editor’s Note: This article discusses self-harm, suicide, and mental-health crises. Please take care while reading. If you or someone you know needs help, call 988 (the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) or text 741741 for the Crisis Text Line.
When Cheryl Hill vanished around Thanksgiving and her late son’s birthday, her community rallied in a desperate search, ultimately uncovering the tragedy that the 69-year-old New Havener had taken her own life in the Quinnipiac River.
Now, Hill’s 35-year-old daughter Olivia plans to channel her grief into raising awareness around the importance of mental health — especially for Black women like her mother.
Cheryl Hill, a New Haven native, died by suicide on Nov. 29. Her death took place two days after Thanksgiving, a week after the anniversary of her late son’s birthday, and a month after the anniversary of her late sister’s death.
Hill’s first-born son, Elder Jamarr Myrick, passed away in March 2024. Her sister, Lou Ann Brown, died a few months later.
In a recent interview with the Independent, Hill’s daughter Olivia recalled her mother as a classic strong matriarch who made sure to take care of others despite struggling through lifelong grief stemming from her family’s many losses. “It’s way too common that the Black matriarch of the family suffers in silence,” Olivia said.
Over the years, Cheryl Hill supported her family, her church, and her community, all while struggling with what her family described as depression.
Olivia’s family is now raising funds to pay for Cheryl’s funeral services. She said that her mom’s well-invested life insurance policy was voided due to cause of death. Click here to support the Hill family.
Meanwhile, this past Saturday evening, over 100 friends, family, and loved ones of Cheryl gathered at the Grand Avenue Bridge for a candlelight vigil. Members of Elm City COMPASS, Mobile Crisis Intervention Services, and the CT Mental Health Center Mobile Crisis and Evaluation Unit were in attendance to provide help.
“What happened to my cousin has devastated our family. [It] has devastated our family,” said one of the vigil’s attendees, Thretha Green. “She is the most loving person. She gave her all to the last day.” (See below for more on Saturday’s vigil.)
“Her Community Made Sure To Find Her”
Cheryl was last seen at her home in Beaver Hills by her granddaughter at 4:50 p.m. on Nov. 28. She was reported missing at 9 a.m. on Nov. 29 because she didn’t come home. Her car was found by police parked near the Grand Avenue Bridge in Fair Haven Heights.
Olivia’s friend Candice quickly jumped into action to make a missing person’s poster for her and the community to share on social media.
The search started the morning of Nov. 29 by police and by Cheryl’s community. Olivia said when she realized her mom still hadn’t returned home, she visited her aunt in West Haven to see if Cheryl was there, but she wasn’t.
Olivia called her neighbor and family members asking them to help her find her mother. She then met police at Cheryl’s car at Quinnpiac Avenue and East Grand Avenue. She used the spare key she had to her mom’s car to open the trunk and found her mother’s personal belongings, like her purse and cellphone.
Olivia continued to check other potential locations for her mom, like the Arden House hopsice care center in Hamden and Myrick’s grave.
Then, at 2:20 p.m. that same day, Olivia received a call from her neighbor — a family friend who asked to remain anonymous for this story. That neighbor informed Olivia that he had recovered her mom’s body over a mile up the Quinnipiac River.
“That’s how important she is. Her community made sure to find her no matter what,” Olivia said.
The neighbor who found Cheryl’s body in the Quinnipiac told the Independent that Cheryl was a “fantastic person that was suffering” and that his family has known and lived beside her for the past 12 years.
Cheryl babysat his daughter, talked to him daily, and always made sure to fix him a plate of food during holidays.
“There wasn’t a time when she didn’t put a smile on my face. She was a caring person and we talked and laughed at least everyday,” he recalled.
He said in the days leading up to her death, this was the first year Cheryl hadn’t dropped off a Thanksgiving plate for his family. When they spoke on Thanksgiving day itself, he said, she didn’t have her usual sing song-like voice. He attributed that to this being the first year of being without her son for the holidays.
When he got the call on the morning of Saturday, Nov. 29, that Cheryl was missing, he drove to the Grand Avenue Bridge to help search for her.
He spoke with neighbors and went up and down the river on foot. He soon realized he needed a boat to search the water. He stopped at a bait shop, where he learned a bit about the river’s tides. Before heading further up river, he told Cheryl’s daughter Olivia: “I’m not coming home until I find her.”
He then began asking neighbors if they’d lend him a boat to search. When one person agreed, warning him about the shallow river, he was given a kayak, life jacket, waterproof windbreaker, and waterproof phone case. While on the cold river, he would occasionally stop paddling to let the water push him in its natural direction. While in the kayak on the river, he frequently checked his phone, hoping Cheryl would be been found elsewhere.
“The longer it went, the more I felt like I needed to find her,” he said. “Ms. Cheryl deserved to be found and have someone looking for her.”
He discovered her body that afternoon in the river near the North Haven and Hamden town lines. He could see the back of East Rock in the distance. He then called Olivia and waited for her and police to arrive while holding her.
He concluded that “connection with people is needed more” — from saying hello to your neighbor to making eye contact and smiling at people at the gas station.
“We are all connected and it’s a reminder of how important it is to live in way where we understand we’re a part of something other than our own little lives,” the neighbor said. “Be there for each other and make sure people know they’re seen.”
A Life Of Trauma, Strength, & Care
Cheryl was the second oldest of eight siblings. She was raised by her aunt, Lucinda Ratley, after her mother, Daisy Mae Lee-Hill, was murdered in New Haven in 1967. Cheryl’s father, James Henderson Hill, Sr., died a month after her mom. Olivia attributed Cheryl’s father’s death to heartbreak.
Olivia recalled her mom, Cheryl, telling her stories about being 11 years old and witnessing her mothers murder by stabbing.
Another major loss in Cheryl’s life came when her younger sister Deborah Hill died in 1976. Her sister — a basketball star at Lee High School — died after a battle with leukemia, and before she was able to graduate from high school.
Three years before her sister’s death, Cheryl also lost her brother, Douglass Hill, while she was just a sophomore in high school.
Then, in 2008, she lost her oldest brother.
Cheryl was a single mother who had retired from a career as an insurance claims specialist.
Cheryl’s son Myrick was a truancy officer for New Haven Public Schools s for 25 years and a minister for 30 years. “He was a lot of things to a lot of people,” Olivia said about her brother.
According to Olivia, Myrick suffered from a series of major health complications in the final years of his life, including a blood infection that led to sepsis, a deteriorated heart valve that required him to get open heart surgery, diabetes that resulted in his leg being amputated, and many strokes.
Myrick’s poor health in those years took an emotional toll on his mom, Cheryl. She especially struggled when her son decided to go into hospice on March 11, 2024. Cheryl would visit him daily.
While getting hospice care at the Arden House, Olivia held the power of attorney for her older brother. She recalled him telling her in his final days: “Keep an eye on mommy. She’s not as strong as you think.”
Myrick’s decision to grant Olivia the power of attorney, and the pain of losing a loved one, sparked tensions within the family, Olivia recalled. This caused further stress for Cheryl.
Myrick passed away on March 24, 2024. According to Oliva, thousands of people attended his funeral in person and online, speaking to just how many lives he touched as a minister and a truancy officer in New Haven.
In the first few months after after her son’s passing, Cheryl’s community came out to support her, Olivia said. But eventually, most “went back to their lives and the grief became more profound for her.”
Over the years, Olivia said, Cheryl avoided taking depression medication out of fear of other family members’ struggles with drug addiction.
After Myrick’s passing, Cheryl became more active with her church, Beulah Heights First Pentecostal Church. She supported the church’s food pantry and was a board member of the women’s ministry.
Olivia said she was aware of just how much was weighing on her mom this year as they approached the first Thanksgiving that the family would celebrate, and Myrick’s first birthday they would mark, since Myrick’s death.
This October, Olivia was faced with planning her paternal uncle’s funeral after his passing Oct 24. She struggled herself with the feeling that “all my male protectors are gone. I’m in a space where I need to be protected right now.” While mourning she spent less time with her mother. She visited her dad’s family in Maryland the week of Nov. 12 to continue planning the Dec. 1 funeral for her uncle.
Olivia’s mother lived with her in Beaver Hills. Cheryl had supported Olivia with raising her daughter, Cheryl’s only grandchild. In recent months, Cheryl would drive Olivia’s daughter to and from work everyday, to therapy once a week, and to church on Sundays.
“My mom died of heartbreak in my eyes,” Olivia said. “We didn’t receive the support we thought we would from everyone that made my brother promises.”
Turning Grief Into Advocacy
As she grapples with her mom’s death, Olivia hopes to incorporate more mental health resources into her Church Street beauty business, LushXEsthetics. She also wants to create a community fund in her mom’s name to continue her support for New Haven and spread awareness about depression and the mental health impacts of long term grieving. She hopes to spread more awareness about suicide and make it easier to talk about it, she said.
Olivia described her mom as her “first example of class, elegance, grace and beauty.” She recalled childhood memories of sitting on her mother’s bathroom floor, watching her curl her hair early in the morning and then get dressed and put on jewelry.
That is what inspired Olivia to run her own beauty business. That is what inspires her to teach others to take care of themselves.
Olivia now is reminding herself once again — since her mom died, since her brother died, since her uncle died — to “mourn and move,” meaning to not let yourself stay stagnant when grieving and to get help so you don’t suffer alone.
“For Black women, stress is so normal,” Olivia said. “We have always had everything on our back. [We] have always just kept going and been the savior.”
“Mental Health Is Real”
A a licensed professional counselor and member of the COMPASS Community Advisory Board, Thretha Green showed up to Saturday’s vigil to mourn her cousin’s death and speak out about the dangers of depression.
“Mental health is real,” Green said. “We are cursed from slavery. We are carrying on the burdens of our ancestors. We have to take care of each other.”
Suicidal ideation and mental health struggles appear differently in different people, Green told the crowd. Boys may show signs of physical aggression such as taking up guns or other risky behavior that increases their risk of bodily injury. Girls may show a shifted demeanor and verbal aggression.
Green said that warning signs can be misinterpreted or disregarded at times. Sometimes people may interpret someone’s warning signs as having “an attitude” and dismiss the possibility of their demeanor change being the result of an underlying issue. She emphasized the importance of inquiring about people’s mental health and wellbeing and addressing signs when they first develop.
“Find out why she’s so angry. Find out why she’s so provocative. Find out. There’s something going on,” she said. “Don’t talk about him. Help him. There’s something going on.”
Cheryl’s passing also hit close to home for her friend Jennifer Quaye-Hudson.
“I found that when things got real hard, it was hard for folks who were previously in my life to continue to show up,” Quaye-Hudson said about her own struggles with mental health. “My mental illness wasn’t light, and it wasn’t easy for anyone around me. … And while the people that I love do have the right to protect and care for themselves, I also know that folks struggling with mental health cannot get better alone. It has never happened, and it will not happen. We desperately need one another.”
Recounting her own journey, Quaye-Hudson underlined the importance of community and caring for people to your best ability. She highlighted how mental health can warp an individual’s perceptions of themselves and their interpersonal relationships and emphasized the importance of supporting people during their darkest moments.
“Without the constant community care, those reminders, those tethers, you’d be surprised how easy it is to drift into the abyss,” she said. “So I’m here to remind you all of what it means to be in real community with one another.”
In each speech at Saturday’s vigil, friends and family members noted Cheryl’s deep devotion to her faith. Pastor Harold Brooks of Beulah Heights First Pentecostal Church affirmed that, noting her unmistakable exuberance at the Orchard Street church.
“If you happen to have been at our church on Sunday, it was a heavy service because on that third row on the left side from the pulpit is where Cheryl would sit,” he said. “And I would hear an encouraging word, ‘That’s right, Pastor. Tell it, Pastor. Yes. Amen, Pastor.’ Well, this Sunday, that voice was absent. And so it was a heavy time.”
After his speech, attendees lit their white and green candles that they held throughout the rest of the ceremony as the increasingly chilly evening set in. Brooks led the crowd through a prayer before they walked over to the bridge, placing the candles around Cheryl’s roadside memorial.
Speeches from Cheryl’s immediate family followed, with her granddaughter Jamiya Bryant giving final remarks.
“I know she loves me and I love her,” Bryant said. “It’s definitely going to be hard, but I just have another reason to push for all of my goals in life ’cause I want to make her proud,”
Bryant shed a few tears and her voice cracked as she spoke. Addressing the crowd, she paused as needed to collect herself. “I want to make my uncle proud,” she concluded. “I want to make everyone around me proud.”
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