See ‘Send Help’ in theaters, rent ‘Anaconda,’ stream ‘The Wrecking Crew’ on Prime Video

Welcome to another edition of Trust Me, I Watch Everything, a weekly guide to all the new movies released on Friday. I’m Brett Arnold, film critic and host of Roger & Me, a weekly Siskel & Ebert-style movie review show.

This week, we have Sam Raimi’s triumphant return to R-rated antics in the nasty and silly Send Help in theaters, alongside the latest actioner from Jason Statham, Shelter, which is actually good too! If you’re wondering why Melania isn’t mentioned here, it’s because critics weren’t invited to screen it, and the distributors are skipping the standard public Thursday previews, so there are no showtimes until Friday.

At home, you can rent or buy Brazilian film The Secret Agent, which earned multiple Oscar nominations, or check out Anaconda, the meta-reboot comedy starring Paul Rudd, Jack Black and Steve Zahn.

And on streaming services you’re likely already paying for, the critically acclaimed If I Had Legs I’d Kick You starring Rose Byrne is now on HBO Max, and The Wrecking Crew, a new straight-to-streaming action-comedy with a pair of A-listers, hits Prime Video.

Read on, as there’s a lot more, and there’s always something for everyone.

🎥 What to watch in theaters

My recommendation: Send Help

Why you should see it: Horror legend and Evil Dead mastermind Sam Raimi returns to the genre that made him, marking his first return since 2009’s wonderful Drag Me to Hell, and his first R-rated affair since 1997’s The Gift.

Send Help is a survival horror film about a meek employee and Survivor lover, Linda Liddle (Rachel McAdams), and her insufferable boss (the increasingly prevalent Dylan O’Brien), who become stranded on a deserted island, the only survivors of a plane crash. Here, they must overcome past grievances and work together to survive as power dynamics are completely inverted. It’s like Triangle of Sadness but homed in on modern-day office culture and flipping that gendered power imbalance that can exist in the workplace.

The bad news? The film, as most do these days, relies far too heavily on lousy-looking digital effects, from the backgrounds to CGI wild boars to terrible-looking digital compositing as a hilarious amount of blood is thrust upon McAdams’s face.

There are enough of his directorial flourishes throughout (as well as running gags; keen-eyed viewers will notice both Bruce Campbell and the 1973 Oldsmobile Delta 88 in there somewhere) to make it feel enough like a Raimi film. He even somehow sneaks a Deadite-looking zombie into the proceedings.

It’s broad and silly stuff that’s completely elevated by not only its director but also its two stars, who are both having so much fun in their roles that it really ups the ante on how often you’ll be laughing and/or screaming. There’s a hilarious puking scene that bests all other Raimi puke scenes, and that’s saying something. It’s probably trashier than you’re expecting from the trailers, which is also a plus in my book. It’s got some twists and is quite clever.

It truly feels as if McAdams was game for whatever craziness was thrown at her, and she excels in the role as we see her character morph under her new circumstances. O’Brien is so good at playing the sniveling asshole you immediately hate, and his shift is similarly delightful to behold. He’s quickly becoming one of the most exciting actors these days, after a killer 2025 that included amazing dual performances in Twinless and a terrific turn in the underseen Anniversary.

Send Help is a two-hander that feels like it’s engineered to be a performance showcase for its pair of leads, and thankfully, they’re both more than up to the task. It’s also a treat to see Raimi flex his skills on material that’s beneath his pay-grade at this point — he’s the man behind the original live-action Tobey Maguire Spider-Man movies and the latest Doctor Strange movie, after all — but far more in my wheelhouse. Having iconic composer Danny Elfman on board doesn’t hurt, either. What year is it again?!

What other critics are saying: It’s a hit! Clarisse Loughrey at the Independent writes that the film ultimately “becomes the best of both worlds: indulgent Raimi splatter fueled by a satisfying touch of righteous rage.” IndieWire’s Alison Foreman calls it “wickedly lovable with the potential to be timeless,” adding that it’s “controlled delirium microwaved on high heat. At 66, Raimi reminds us who he was when he made horror-comedy history with Evil Dead II, and more importantly, why his voice still matters.”

How to watch: Send Help is now playing in theaters nationwide.

Get tickets

But that’s not all …

• Shelter: Not every Jason Statham vehicle is worth a trip to the cinema — for every fun one à la The Beekeeper, there’s a rough one like A Working Man — but I’m thrilled to report that Shelter absolutely gets the job done and is everything you want out of this sort of thing. The story is as cliché and formulaic as it gets — a man living in self-imposed exile on a remote island rescues a young girl, setting off a chain of events that forces him out of seclusion to protect her from enemies tied to his past — but none of that matters because all the little details are right, from the characters and performances to the efficient runtime and killer craft from director Ric Roman Waugh, who makes every single action sequence feel alive with clean camerawork and great pacing. There’s a terrific car chase early on that lets you know you’re in good hands. Get tickets.

• Melania: Critics were not provided with screener links or in-person screening options for this documentary film directed by filmmaker Brett Ratner, who was accused of sexual misconduct in 2017 by several women, including Olivia Munn. The film documents first lady Melania Trump over the 20 days leading up to husband Donald Trump’s second presidential inauguration. Jeff Bezos’s Amazon reportedly spent $75 million on the film, including $40 million to acquire it and $35 million to promote it. Alas, there were also no preview screenings on Thursday, so I wasn’t able to check it out in time for this article. Get tickets.

💸 Movies newly available to rent or buy

My recommendation: The Secret Agent

Why you should see it: This Brazilian film, nominated for several Oscars, including Best Picture and Best Actor for star Wagner Moura,  is a sneakily profound movie that throws you in without explaining itself. By the end, you’ll appreciate that approach.

There’s a late reveal that totally recontextualizes what came before it in such a clever way that I gasped. The narrative’s twisty nature tells a deeply affecting story from the past that still resonates today. Moura, who you may recognize from Narcos, is as sensational as you’ve heard, and the film is beautifully shot and incredibly engaging on a narrative level.

The way the film depicts the all-encompassing corruption of ’70s-era Brazil is somehow both laugh-out-loud hilarious and incredibly dark, a quality that permeates throughout. It’s an incredibly rewarding experience — a film about history meshing with the present featuring some of the best storytelling of the year — that I’m very eager to revisit.

What other critics are saying: It’s so acclaimed, it became a major Oscar contender. The AP’s Lindsay Bahr calls it “the best kind of personal film, imbued with so many things that Mendonça Filho loves, both resurrection and elegy.” David Fear at Rolling Stone agrees, writing “Marcelo’s story keeps everything connected and the humanity in the forefront, but the overall effect is still akin to surfing channels late at night, slipping from one delirious after-hours offering to the next.”

How to watch: The Secret Agent is now available to rent or buy on Apple TV, Prime Video and other VOD platforms

Rent or buy

My bonus recommendation: Anaconda

This crowd-pleasing, self-aware meta-reboot of Anaconda, the 1997 film that became a cable TV classic, is more a satire of the idea of a reboot than an actual earnest one. It stars Jack Black, Paul Rudd, Thandiwe Newton and Steve Zahn, and it coasts almost entirely on charm.

Four childhood friends seeking to recapture their youth travel to the Amazon to film an amateur remake of the original Anaconda. Their project unravels when a real giant anaconda emerges, turning the light-hearted shoot into a perilous fight to stay alive

It’s just silly and clever enough to recommend: a light satire about Hollywood’s current obsession with reboots and how they all have to be “about something” now, with deep and impactful themes like intergenerational trauma. There’s an earnestness to the characters and the treatment of their pursuit of their dreams that’s sweet and relatable, with great messaging about the importance of going for it rather than settling for a “B/B+” life tangentially related to what you really want to do. It’s unexpectedly charming in this way.

It works so well as a comedy, you’ll forgive how boring and tame the giant CGI action sequences are. Damn near every kill is an unsatisfying cutaway, which is disappointing in a monster movie, but I guess par for the course for this PG-13 franchise.

What other critics are saying: I was kinder than most, it turns out. IndieWire’s David Ehrlich writes, “This self-reflexive Hollywood sendup is so slapdash and unsure of itself that it ultimately feels less like a bad in-joke than a case of a snake eating its own tail.” William Bibbiani at The Wrap says that it’s “so busy talking about how silly it is to make a new Anaconda that it never actually makes a good Anaconda.”

How to watch: Anaconda is now available to rent or buy on Apple TV, Prime Video and other VOD platforms.

Rent or buy

But that’s not all …

• Primate: This movie is the best version of itself possible, thanks to killer direction from Johannes Roberts, a lean, mean sub-90-minute runtime and a love for both practical effects and incredibly nasty gore on display. It’s a low-concept, exploitation-style creature feature that exists purely as a showcase for clever filmmaking and the effectiveness of a good old-fashioned guy in a monkey suit utilized alongside animatronics and other non-CGI means. It’s Cujo with a monkey, and is essentially just a series of extremely tense set pieces strung together as a kick-ass ’80s synth score blares and a once-friendly-but-now-diseased pet monkey kills a bunch of folks in an isolated setting. Rent or buy.

• Zootopia 2: A star-studded voice cast returns in this long-awaited sequel to the 2016 hit. Detectives Judy Hopps and Nick Wilde find themselves on the twisting trail of a mysterious reptile who turns the mammal metropolis of Zootopia upside down. Testing their growing partnership like never before, they go undercover in new parts of town to crack the case. The kids will surely dig it, and some parents may appreciate the messaging about prejudice, segregation and gentrification. Rent or buy.

• Greenland 2: Migration: This Gerard Butler sequel depicts the aftermath of a comet strike that decimated most of the planet and how the Garrity family must leave the safety of their Greenland bunker to traverse a shattered world in search of a new home. The original was a solid apocalyptic disaster movie that was less interested in the disaster itself and more concerned with the chaotic bureaucracy of the government’s response, as well as how people treat one another in a looming end-of-the-world scenario. Migration is more of the same, frankly, but with slightly diminishing returns. Ultimately, it’s a decent sequel to a better-than-average disaster flick. Rent or buy.

📺 Movies newly available on streaming services you may already have

My recommendation: If I Had Legs I’d Kick You

Why you should watch it: Rose Byrne is absolutely sensational in this extremely unpleasant and stressful movie that many have described as “Uncut Gems for moms.”

With her life crashing down around her, a mom tries to navigate her daughter’s mysterious illness, her absent husband, a missing person,and an increasingly hostile relationship with her therapist, who just so happens to be played by Conan O’Brien in a wonderfully droll performance.

One could view the film as a feature-length birth control; a missive that acts as a PSA about what it’s really like having a child, if that child were to have an ailment that essentially took over the parents’ lives. The daughter only appears as a voice nagging offscreen, her face appearing just once at the very end, and it’s such an effective stylistic choice that puts the audience squarely in Byrne’s headspace. The anxiety of simply keeping your child alive and never having a moment to yourself is deeply felt here.

Director Mary Bronstein has discussed how her daughter’s suffering from an illness at a young age inspired the film, which makes it all the more harrowing that it’s pulled from reality. The film is a character study of a mother constantly on the edge and seemingly losing her own identity in the process; it may not be fun, but it will stick with you, and it features a ferocious lead performance that’s one of the very best of the year. The Academy agrees — Byrne earned her first-ever Oscar nomination for it.

What other critics are saying: It’s one of the most well-reviewed movies of the year. Brianna Zigler, writing for the AV Club, says Rose Byrne has never been better and calls the film “stunning” and “brutal.” Time’s Stephanie Zacharek writes that the film “is hardly full-on punishment, and in places it’s bitterly funny. But in the end, it’s an enormous relief to walk away from Linda’s problems. Our own don’t seem so bad in comparison.”

How to watch: If I Had Legs I’d Kick You is now streaming on HBO Max.

Watch on HBO Max

My bonus sort-of-recommendation: The Wrecking Crew

Why you should maybe watch it: I’ve been known to call them “movies that don’t exist,” but an essay passed around online last week dubbed these easily identifiable, expensive streaming-era mockbusters “black hole movies,” so let’s go with that. The Wrecking Crew is the latest straight-to-streaming action-comedy with A-list celebrities slumming it on your TV screen and/or your tablet or smartphone. There’s little that differentiates it from similar fare.

I’ll quote that Barry Hertz article again: “Does anyone out there know that Eddie Murphy starred in a new action-comedy last summer called The Pickup? That John Cena and Idris Elba played world leaders forced to run for their lives in a buddy flick called Heads of State? Or that Mark Wahlberg headlined a new adaptation of author Donald E. Westlake’s beloved Parker series, directed by Hollywood’s go-to action-comedy guru Shane Black? What about Fountain of Youth, a globe-trotting adventure starring John Krasinski and Natalie Portman? Or Swiped, which stars Lily James in a Social Network-like tech-world thriller dramatizing the rise of the dating app Bumble?”

Readers of this column will likely nod their heads in recognition, as I’ve covered them all, but even I barely remember these movies. In this one, estranged half-brothers Jonny (Jason Momoa) and James (Dave Bautista) reunite after their father’s mysterious death. As they search for the truth, buried secrets reveal a conspiracy threatening to tear their family apart.

But not much of that is consequential, as this movie just wants to entertain with shocking, over-the-top violence and some wild action set pieces, which look increasingly worse as the movie piles on the CGI mayhem. I was enjoying it well enough until it got real rubbery-looking in the third act, frankly. It’s also got a sequence that so clearly rips off Oldboy, a movie that’s more than 20 years old, it made me roll my eyes.

Momoa and Bautista bickering with one another provides some laughs, though, and the unexpected nastiness of the violence did win me over, but it’s hard to muster much excitement for something like this. It’s forgettable throwaway entertainment, which, like junk food, you can be in the mood for. If that’s you, it’ll scratch the itch fine.

In an age where movie theaters are dying for any fare that gets butts in seats, movies that once would have been $100 million grossers in America are now left to fade into obscurity on the Prime Video app, and it’s an incredibly sad state of affairs. But at least the movie stars still get their massive paychecks!

What other critics are saying: It’s getting better marks than I expected! Nick Schager at the Daily Beast had a rosier spin on things, writing, “The Wrecking Crew is the type of solid action flick that used to have a home in multiplexes. Those days may be gone, but it’s nice to know that, with Prime Video picking up the action-extravaganza slack, such rugged, no-frills affairs aren’t yet on the brink of extinction.” The AV Club’s Jacob Oller was less kind, writing, “Somehow, the laborious and forgettable action-comedy isn’t dumb enough.”

How to watch: The Wrecking Crew is now streaming on Prime Video.

Watch on Prime Video

That’s all for this week — we’ll see you next week at the movies!