If you are reading this, it’s late December; you are likely hiding in different rooms of your house, playing an annual game of hide-and-seek to keep everyone guessing or avoid your in-laws. Possibly, you’re stuck on a 24-hour shift staring at a clock that seems to be moving backward. You have reached the point in the holiday timeline where high-speed motivation breaks down, and the only objective is survival.
Related: 6 reasons why comm guys hate military movies
You could put on “Die Hard” for the 400th time and argue about whether it’s a Christmas movie or not (it absolutely is, and all of us have been validated), or you could lean into the holiday skid.
The solution? Hallmark. Holiday. Movies.
Go ahead and say it: “Those unoriginal, low-budget, glitter bombs, where a big-city lawyer forgets her phone, just to fall in love with a flannel-wearing guy who carves cute wooden critters and drives a red pick-up truck.” You pretend to hate them. You crack a joke and a beer when a significant other puts one on. But the truth will come out.
After a year of real-life cartoon chaos, there is something soothing about a world where the biggest threat isn’t an unexplained war or budget cuts, but simply a bakery running out of cinnamon during its holiday rush. High drama at its finest.
The entire Hallmark catalog has been watched twice (strictly for work purposes, of course), so you didn’t have to. The films were assessed for holiday cheer, inaccuracies, and emotional blast radius. Here is the official breakdown on Hallmark movies, totally authorized for viewing.
The “Actually Good” Tier (Civilian Classics)
These movies are basically the MREs of entertainment: processed, cheesy, shelf-stable for decades, and exactly the same every single time. But sometimes, when it’s cold and morale is low, a jalapeño cheese spread is the best meal available.
1. A Biltmore Christmas (2023): A screenwriter travels back in time to 1947 to rewrite the ending of a classic film. This is the gold standard for “Production Value.” Instead of a generic Canadian suburb masquerading as Vermont, you get the actual Biltmore Estate and period-accurate costumes.
Preview – A Biltmore Christmas – Starring Bethany Joy Lenz, Kristoffer Polaha & Jonathan Frakes
The time-travel logic is tighter than some battalion optempos, and the 1940s setting is calming. It’s got class and wit; it’s potentially the one movie you can watch with your spouse without constantly dozing off or quietly judging them.
2. Three Wise Men and a Baby (2022): Three brothers—a firefighter, a pet therapist, and a video game designer—are forced to live together and take care of a baby during the holidays.
Preview – Three Wise Men and a Baby – Starring Paul Campbell, Tyler Hynes and Andrew Walker
Finally, a film that understands squad dynamics. This isn’t a romance; it’s a movie about three dudes trying to survive my nightmare (the baby) without descending into “Lord of the Flies.” The banter feels like a barracks common room; then the panic sets in.
The firefighter brother is a first responder, which is rad. Still, the real draw is watching these guys attempt to problem-solve an infant with the same energy as a private trying to fill garbage bags with exhaust fumes for the motorpool Humvee exhaust samples.
3. The Nine Lives of Christmas (2014): A fireman adopts a stray cat (okay, we’re listening). A veterinary student then happens to move in (you can see where this is going). Freaking Superman (Brandon Routh) plays the firefighter. It’s simple, effective, and lacks the usual screaming melodrama that throws emotional baggage down in your living room and gets comfy.
The Nine Lives of Christmas – Starring Brandon Routh and Kimberley Sustad
The cat actor is also better than 90% of the human cast in other films. It’s a low-stress, low-stakes watch that accomplishes the mission without unnecessary collateral damage to your patience.
The “Tactical Tears” (Military Themes)
Most military movies made by civilians look like the wardrobe department raided a Spirit Halloween five minutes before they closed for the year. Usually, watching Hollywood try to replicate military life is about as painful as a urinalysis formation on a Monday morning.
However, Hallmark occasionally remembers the demographic exists, and surprisingly, a few of these films don’t require verbal counseling for incompetence.
Here are the ones that actually respected the rank.
1. The Christmas Card (2006): Ok, this one is an OG, but its also a potential’ Me Too’ pothole. Just bear with us for a minute. Here, a soldier receives a random Christmas card while deployed to Afghanistan, gets entranced by it, and decides to track down the sender when he goes on leave.
Look, the plot sounds like a UCMJ waiting to happen, we know. “Soldier stalks civilian based on mail” is usually the transcript being read to a jury, not a romance device.
Hallmark Channel – The Christmas Card
But The Christmas Card hits differently. It captures that specific hollow ache of being downrange during the holidays without turning it into a pity fest. The lead actor actually looks like he could have served, and the vibe is respectful. Watch it, but ensure nobody sees you wiping your eyes at the end.
2. USS Christmas (2020): A reporter goes on a “Tiger Cruise” aboard an aircraft carrier and meets a Naval officer who loves Christmas almost as much as he loves watching the deck get swabbed. It remains unclear who at the Department of the Navy authorized this, but the production value is actually… legit?
They filmed on a real carrier, uniforms aren’t two sizes too big, plus there’s no stolen valor here; just a lot of Navy jargon mixed with aggressive festive decorating. It’s rare to see a movie where the military job isn’t just a prop to get the guy out of town, but actually part of the setting.
Anyone who has spent time on a boat will appreciate the accuracy, even if one questions why nobody is tired and cranky like in real life.
Preview + Sneak Peek – USS Christmas – Hallmark Movies & Mysteries
3. Operation Christmas (2016): A single mom falls for an Army Ranger, but struggles with the reality that he could get deployed during one of their dates. This one is for the dependents, the unsung heroes dealing with the Tricare bureaucracy and the empty chairs at the dinner table (respect to you all).
Most movies treat deployment like a way to kill off a character as an emotional tear-jerker; this one treats it like the looming, silent roommate you never invited to stay, it actually is. It focuses on the families left behind. It’s honest about the suck factor of dating the military, which makes it arguably the most realistic film on this list.
Preview – Operation Christmas – Starring Tricia Helfer & Marc Bluca – Hallmark Movies & Mysteries
The Hallmark Channel Axis of Evil
Some of these movies make you want to throw a remote at your significant other, with the hopes that an argument would be a better use of your time. Some of these come so close to actual military culture—the kind of military culture that everyone in the military knows is out there, but tries to hide, and the media gratefully won’t acknowledge—that they could almost be commended.
Almost.
This is Hallmark and that’s not how it works. It certainly isn’t family-friendly.
“Home for Christmas Day”
Preview – Home for Christmas Day starring Catherine Bell and Victor Webster
Synopsis: “When a young woman falls in love and develops a long-distance relationship with a soldier in active duty, her protective mother tries her best to steer her daughter away from heartache. Little do they know they are about to learn important lessons of the heart and that taking chances can make this Christmas one they will cherish forever.”
Translation: Catherine Bell (who you might remember from “JAG” because who could forget), is Jane, a Gold Star spouse who doesn’t want her daughter Betsy dating military guys. So, of course, Betsy immediately starts dating a soldier. Listen, if you don’t want your daughters dating soldiers, maybe don’t live near an Army post. It’s scientifically provable that more women date soldiers near Fort Bragg than near Toronto.
What happens? This is a Hallmark movie, so yeah, that kid is deploying. And he’s deploying right before Christmas. Not only is he deploying, Hallmark kills off part of his unit just to make Betsy really ponder if dating a soldier is worth the trouble. Ultimately, yes, she takes the risk, but honestly: to hell with Betsy. She really thought about sending him a Dear John letter right after he lost his friends. WOW.
“A Veteran’s Christmas”
Preview – A Veteran’s Christmas – Miracles of Christmas
Synopsis: “Honorably discharged from the Marines, Grace is driving to Cincinnati when her jeep breaks down, and Judge Joe Peterson offers his guesthouse until it’s repaired. As they spend time together, they fall in love, but Grace worries Joe isn’t over his ex, Marnie, and Joe must decide if he should move to Chicago to be a District Court Judge. If he does, Grace sees no reason to accept a job heading the town’s Search & Rescue. Overhearing Joe talking to Marnie, Grace is brokenhearted, and leaves, until Joe unleashes a surprise that could make Grace stay in River Crossing forever.”
Translation: Woman dodges a bullet by not having to move to Cincinnati. There is no sitcom-level hilarity coming from the fact that Judge Joe wants to date Marine but might have feelings for Marnie. I feel like this movie could have been funnier.
What happens? Who cares. Kudos to Hallmark for basically stealing the plot from “Doc Hollywood,” the second-most-underrated movie of Michael J. Fox’s career. The first is “The Frighteners.” “Doc Hollywood” was Hallmark before Hallmark was a thing. Stop reading this and watch it instead.
“Christmas Homecoming”
Christmas Homecoming – Starring Julie Benz and Michael Shanks
Synopsis: “A military widow rents an apartment to an Army captain recovering from an injury in battle. As they team up to save the town’s military museum with a Christmas fundraising event, these two “wounded birds” find themselves falling in love—and being healed by the magic of Christmas.”
Translation: A military widow has a type.
What Happens: There’s no way to know because it’s so hard to finish. Everyone is aware this is a Hallmark movie, but Amanda (Julie Benz) is already a military widow, and it’s just hard to believe she would so easily fall in love with a guy who is clearly in danger of getting killed in combat. Also: How long is convalescent leave? Long enough to save a military museum.
“Holiday for Heroes”
Preview – Holiday for Heroes – Hallmark Movies & Mysteries
Synopsis: “Audrey and First Sergeant Matt have been writing each other since last Christmas, when her brother Devin shared some fresh roasted coffee from the care package she’d sent. When Matt unexpectedly shows up in her small-town coffee shop, Audrey is delighted to see him. Soon, Matt helps Audrey with the annual Holiday for Heroes event, which honors local service members. As they work to save this important event from being cancelled, will the spirit of the season bring Matt and Audrey’s love beyond their letters?”
Translation: After sliding into someone’s DMs, can a senior NCO make a real-life relationship work?
What Happens? In real life, the answer seems to be “no.” But on the Hallmark Channel, the answer is a resounding yes. Overlook the fact that Audrey and “First Sergeant Matt” have never met; he just took it upon himself to write to one of his soldiers’ sisters. Matt then shows up at her job unexpectedly. So far, it reads like a court-martial statement because it’s flying more red flags than a Chinese military parade. On Hallmark, nothing matters because he stays to help save the town’s holiday salute to himself.
The 2025 Rookie of the Year
Preview – Christmas on Duty – Starring Janel Parrish and Parker Young
Christmas on Duty (2025): The Hallmark gods are truly benevolent. The latest addition to the roster, probably created because an AI algorithm demanded it, starts with two military rivals who are forced into twenty-four-hour Christmas duty after their wacky antics land them both in hot water.
When a winter storm throws the base’s holiday plans into chaos, thus stranding Christmas presents off-base and threatening to cancel festivities altogether, this unlikely pair is forced to work together on an improvised mission to save Christmas. Yup, more of this please.
It checks every box. The forced closeness. The inevitable snowball fight that signifies things are about to get PG-sexy for these two eventually. It is predictable, formulaic, and absolutely perfect. You know exactly what you are getting, and sometimes, that reliability is the only thing holding you and your family together enough to get through this year.
You can choose the high-quality period pieces of Section 1, the relatable military struggles of Section 2, or, if you enjoy being tortured, the disasters of Section 3. The choice is yours.
Do not let the holidays turn into a war of attrition between you and your entertainment. Secure your snacks, check your six for unwanted guests, and remember: if the movie gets too bad, you can always claim you have to go out and grab some milk… for a decade.
Don’t Miss the Best of We Are The Mighty
• ‘Nuremberg’ pits a notorious Nazi war criminal against a US Army psychiatrist
• Army veteran Ryan Curtis brings action to ‘Hollywood Grit’
• 11 behind-the-scenes war movie revelations from Charlie Sheen’s ‘The Book of Sheen’
The Navy is bringing back battleships with the Trump-class USS Defiant
Source link
