The Horniest Movie Reviews on Letterboxd

Movies are a medium of visual pleasures. They are filled with beautiful people, often in various states of undress. Sometimes they flirt with one another; sometimes they do more than flirt with one another. Anyone who watches movies and claims not to notice that — or, even worse, claims not to like that — is lying to themselves.

I spend a lot of time on the fabulous cinema-centered social media app Letterboxd. And what I am noticing more and more lately, is that the other users on that site rarely, if ever, lie to themselves, at least about this particular subject. They are not shy about revealing what (and who) they find attractive. Barely a day goes by that I look at Letterboxd and don’t see at least one (or two [or eight]) extremely horny reviews. Forget deep textual analysis, forget considerations of a film’s cinematography, the editing, the score. These folks are just very boned up for the stars of these movies.

And you know what? That rules. These reviews give me so much joy, in fact, I decided to collect 25 of my favorites into a list of the horniest Letterboxd reviews — or at least the horniest Letterboxd reviews that aren’t so explicit that I feel uncomfortable republishing them on a website for a general audience. (Those kinds of reviews are out there, though. Believe you me. They are out there.)

I want to make it very clear before we begin: There is no shame intended here. All 25 of these reviews brought a smile to my face. If watching Mickey 17, or Top Gun: Maverick, or, um, Disney’s animated Robin Hood does it for you, more power to you. Bask in those visual pleasures. That’s what the movies are there for.