Experts reveal common nighttime mistake that’s dropping you into a cycle of 3 am wake ups — and the hack that will help you sleep through again

Ever find yourself wide awake at 3 am, staring at the ceiling, calculating how many hours left until your alarm rings? You’re not alone. In fact, over a third of Americans report frequent nocturnal awakenings.

But what you do when you find yourself awake is critical to whether you’ll drift straight back off, or stay awake tossing and turning. And I should know. Despite being armed with a raft of sleep tips from leading experts, I’ve found myself joining the dreaded 3am club this winter.

Here, I speak to Kasryn Kapp, a licensed counsellor specialising in sleep, and Lauri Leadley, a clinical sleep educator, to find out why I’m waking up at 3am — what I can do to fall back to sleep quickly.

Getting to the bottom of my 3am wake ups

Ask anyone I know and they’ll tell you that I’m a pretty solid sleeper (I’ve even been known to hit a sleep score of 100). Yet I’ve found myself awake at night this winter, and Leadley — a registered polysomnographic technologist — has a potential explanation: I’m going to bed too early.

Through the dark and cold months, I’ve found myself getting tucked up in bed as early as 7pm. While these cosy evenings are relaxing and the early nights mean I’m getting plenty of sleep, I’ve found they’re taking a toll on the quality of my sleep. I’m waking up more frequently in the night and taking longer to drift back off.

(Image credit: Getty Images)

While I’ve loved my 7pm bedtimes, they’ve actually shifted my circadian rhythm (that’s your body’s internal clock) earlier. So while I am waking up at 3am, it’s because I’ve already clocked up a solid 8 hours of sleep.

For me, the solution to my 3am wake-ups is relatively simple; resist the urge to get into bed so early. With spring on the horizon and the days growing longer, now is also a great time to ensure I get plenty of morning sunlight to re-set my circadian rhythm.

However, Knapp, urges me not to worry too much if I do still wake up from time to time. “It may be more helpful to accept that brief awakenings are okay, rather than trying to stop them from happening,” the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I) therapist explains.

But with a little mindfulness around your sleep habits and health, you can work with your biology to avoid frustrating, prolonged awakenings during the night and wake up in good, restored spirits.

Other lifestyle habits that could be causing your 3am wake-ups

Even though waking up at night is fairly normal as we cycle through each sleep stage, if you’re continuously finding it hard to drift off again, and spend hours tossing and turning or worrying about sleep, it’s worth casting an eye over your sleep routine and habits.

You’re eating dinner too late

Your eating habits can impact your sleep, and late night sugary snacks are not conducive to a peaceful night’s rest because they cause sharp spikes followed by rapid crashes in blood sugar levels.

If your blood sugar crashes in the middle of the night, your body perceives it as stress and you’re forced out of sleep to restore balance. Replacing sugary snacks at night with plenty of protein and fiber can stabilize blood sugar levels until morning.

Alcohol is stopping you from staying asleep

Interrupting your sleep cycles, Leadley says alcohol can also be the culprit of your nocturnal awakenings.

She explains: “Drinking alcohol too close (or too much) to bedtime acts like a sedative and once it wears off, you find yourself awake – wide awake, and sometimes that happens even if it’s only midnight.”

Your bedroom isn’t set up for sleep

Diet aside, your sleep set-up could also be behind your nighttime awakenings. Temperature and light are key cues in your circadian rhythms, which control how your body knows when to sleep and when to stay awake.

So, ambient light, noise, and not sleeping on the best mattress for your sleep needs could be the culprits to your 3am wake-ups. Ideally, for the best sleep outcomes you should get plenty of natural sunlight during the day and sleep in a cool, dark room at night.

The one thing experts say you should never do when you wake up at 3am

Be honest, what’s the first thing you do when you wake up at night? Check the clock? Pick up your phone? Experts say that’s the worst mistake you’re making for your sleep.

Therefore, the one thing you can do to avoid laying awake at night is get rid of the clock and phone in your bedroom. Knowing the time, says Knapp, only fuels any anxiety about how much sleep you’re getting (or not).

“Most people intuitively know that worrying makes sleep less likely, but it gets sticky when the worry is about sleep itself,” explains the Philadelphia-based therapist.

Without a phone or clock within reach, you won’t be able to begin the worry-inducing mental calculations around how much sleep you’ve got and how many more hours you have until your alarm. Instead, you’re more likely to drop back into the next sleep cycle.

What’s the best thing to do when you wake up at 3 am?

If you’re struggling to drop back off, Leadley, a sleep specialist, recommends using breathing exercises or mental techniques to lull the body and mind back to sleep — specifically cognitive shuffling, the 4-7-8 breathing method, or intentional muscle relaxation.

However, lying there trying to force sleep can do more harm than good. If the above tactics fail, Leadley says getting out of bed to do something that quietens your mind can help.

“If you are awake, then get up. Go to a quiet place in the house (not your bed) and read,” urges Leadley, the founder of Valley Sleep Center. It doesn’t have to be reading a book, but it does have to be something that relaxes the mind.

However, she strictly warns, “No devices – no screens.” This retrains your brain to associate your bed with sleep and relaxation, not stress or restlessness and you should soon find yourself getting sleepy again.

Why you shouldn’t panic over your 3 am wake-ups

While frustrating, occasional wake ups in the early hours are a normal segment of a healthy sleep cycle, and fretting over them will do more harm than good.

“People are often shocked to hear that it’s okay and normal to wake up briefly in the night,” explains Kapp.

“There’s an expectation that ‘good sleepers’ sleep with no brief awakenings, but the reality is that many people with healthy sleep have brief awakenings even if it’s as quick and simple as briefly waking up to roll over and going back to sleep.”

This is because you move through 90-minute sleep cycles composed of four different sleep stages through the night. Once one cycle is complete you may briefly wake up (sometimes you’re awake enough to notice, other times you won’t even know you’ve woken up).

“Sleep tends to be lighter and there are more likely to be recalled awakenings in the latter portion of the night because we’ve met some of our sleep ‘appetite’ earlier in the night there’s more sleep drive (like ‘hunger’ for sleep) so it may be easier to return to sleep and awakenings may be less likely,” Kapp concludes.

People are often shocked to hear that it’s okay and normal to wake up briefly in the night
Kasryn Kapp, CBT-I Therapist

Body temperature changes can also cause 3am wake ups. Your core temperature needs to drop for sleep hormones to be released. It hits its lowest in the first part of the night when you’re in deep sleep and then gradually warms up as you approach morning, causing a rise around 3am. Naturally, this can mean you briefly wake up or experience lighter sleep.

Granted poor sleep habits — like irregular bedtimes, late night sugary snacks, caffeine and alcohol consumption — can cause wake ups, too. But if you’re sure you’ve got your sleep health in check and are still awake, it’s more likely just your sleep cycle doing its thing.